Coping with Tragedy
Whether it is war, school shootings, or the myriad forms of discrimination that exist in this world, one thing is certainly unavoidable, and that is pain.
What do I do with pain and heartache, suffering and violence, trauma and tragedy? How do I respond, especially when things seem out of my control? These are the questions I have been asking myself for a number of years, and I am sorry to say, I still do not have “the answer.” However, it seems to come down to finding a way as a human being to deal with violence and tragedy without producing more hatred and violence myself.
Below I have listed two ways of dealing with suffering/pain that have not been helpful in my life. They represent opposite ends of the spectrum of our response to violence:
Forgive and Forget
On the one hand, the method of “forgive and forget” seems too easy, too intellectual. It appears to lack healthy (ready “loving”) boundaries for the self and others, and that is a problem. If I am a part of the universe, connected to people, animals, nature, and the Divine in all things, to let violence perpetuate while intellectually saying I forgive it, opens the door for unnecessary suffering to continue. On top of that science has shown us that the body holds onto negative energy (anger, fear, etc.) from trauma and abuse even when we intellectually decide to forgive…. In other words, I can say to someone, “I forgive you,” while retaining resentment and pain within my body and soul.
Hatred
On the other hand, to choose hatred only adds to pain, violence, suffering of both victim and perpetrator as well. This method—like “forgive and forget”—is a shortcut. It is too easy. If I choose the route of hatred and violence, I allow the cycle to continue. We can easily see this by looking back on our past as a species—the historical seesaw of who killed who, who got revenge, and who was left in pain and suffering as a result of in each violent response.
There must be a third way.
The Art of Non-Violence
Holding the tension of pain and suffering while working towards a better way of doing things—now that is the subtle art of non-violence that few people in this world have discovered and held onto. Those who have found this third option have stood out like sore thumbs in this world saturated with violence. MLK, Dorothy Day, Marvin Gaye, Buddha…. Many of these bodhisattvas were filled with compassion for others while simultaneously killed for their art and practice of this third option, what I will call, the embracing of “liminal spirituality.”
Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable—in the cocoon of liminality—these bright being have walked through the darkness and into the light, becoming butterflies again and again as they helped themselves and others struggling with the pain inflicted by others. Let us learn how to cultivate this art of nonviolence as we walk with them towards our own healing and the healing of our communities. ---Matt Gates
DON’S JOKES
I keep seeing spots in my eyes. Did you see a doctor? No. Just spots. One afternoon there was a group of tourists on tour going through an ancient castle in Europe. They were accompanied by a tour guide. The guide said that the majestic castle was over 700 years old. He added that nothing had been altered or touched in all those years. One of the tourists blurted out, “Sounds like they have the same cheap landlord I have!” Little Johnny goes to the local Farm & Ranch store to buy bird seed. The salesperson asks how many birds does he have? Johnny says, “None. I want to grow some!” “Do you love me with all your heart and soul?’ asked Becky on Valentine’s Day. “Mmm, hmm,” replied Dave. Do you think I’m the most beautiful girl in the world?”Mmm, hmm.” “Do you think my lips are like rose petals?” Mmm, hmm.” “Oh Dave,” gushed Becky, “You say the most beautiful things”
INTERESTING FACTS:
In Washington, D.C., protesters gathered outside the White House to call on President Biden to close the 21 year old prison at the U.S. naval base in Guantánamo Bay, Cuba. Thirty-five men remain imprisoned at Guantánamo today. Mexican authorities have reportedly agreed to take back more Cuban and Nicaraguan migrants expelled by the United States under Title 42, a Trump-era public health order that has been used to block nearly 2 million people arriving at the U.S.-Mexico border from seeking asylum — a violation of international law. ---Democracy Now
In climate news, the United Arab Emirates has named the CEO of one of the world’s biggest oil companies to preside over the COP28 United Nations climate summit when it convenes in Dubai later this year. Sultan Ahmed Al Jaber heads the Abu Dhabi National Oil Company. This appointment goes beyond putting the fox in charge of the henhouse.
Colombia’s government has pledged it will no longer award new contracts to drill for oil and gas, as President Gustavo Petro seeks to fulfill a campaign promise to transition Colombia away from fossil fuels. Americans discard 100 billion plastic bags annually, the equivalent of 12 million barrels of oil. Corporate farms are the ultimate, universal invasive species ---Nation of Change
Between 2000-2020, 517 businesses in the city of Milwaukee received $5,143,963,326 in defense contracts. Check out your village, city, county, or state and see what breweries, brat makers, car dealers, church groups, non-profits, book stores, movie theaters, casinos, hotels etc. receive defense contracts from the Department of Defense. All peace groups could pick out a few defense contractors in their area to boycott.
Thurs. Feb. 16 Anti-ROTC Vigil at Noon in front of M.U. Library on Wisconsin Ave. Christian schools must teach non-violence, not violence against others; even if others choose to be violent.
Thurs. Feb. 23 Anti-Gun Vigil at Noon at Durham’s Sports, 2550 S 108th St. There were 648 mas shootings in 2022, and already 40 this year. Last year, there were an estimated 20,138 gun deaths with 71, 600 licensed gun shops in the U.S.
NOTES FROM 21ST STREET; I watched a nature program on PBS about the interdependency of species in the ocean. It showed how almost every living thing in the ocean is dependent on another species to survive. It was quite beautiful and miraculous to be made aware of the connections. Then I thought of us humans. Are we aware of the interconnections that we are part of? The trees, the bees, the insects, and birds, etc. all have a beautiful interconnectedness with us. I believe if we become more aware of this symbiotic relationship we might hold creation in awe as a great jewel. Once we do this anything that destroys this delicate, beautiful balance between all living things will be questioned. Then power, greed and war will no longer be accepted and only behavior that restores and honors all living things will be allowed. Let us pray for that transformation. Peace, Roberta
Whether it is war, school shootings, or the myriad forms of discrimination that exist in this world, one thing is certainly unavoidable, and that is pain.
What do I do with pain and heartache, suffering and violence, trauma and tragedy? How do I respond, especially when things seem out of my control? These are the questions I have been asking myself for a number of years, and I am sorry to say, I still do not have “the answer.” However, it seems to come down to finding a way as a human being to deal with violence and tragedy without producing more hatred and violence myself.
Below I have listed two ways of dealing with suffering/pain that have not been helpful in my life. They represent opposite ends of the spectrum of our response to violence:
Forgive and Forget
On the one hand, the method of “forgive and forget” seems too easy, too intellectual. It appears to lack healthy (ready “loving”) boundaries for the self and others, and that is a problem. If I am a part of the universe, connected to people, animals, nature, and the Divine in all things, to let violence perpetuate while intellectually saying I forgive it, opens the door for unnecessary suffering to continue. On top of that science has shown us that the body holds onto negative energy (anger, fear, etc.) from trauma and abuse even when we intellectually decide to forgive…. In other words, I can say to someone, “I forgive you,” while retaining resentment and pain within my body and soul.
Hatred
On the other hand, to choose hatred only adds to pain, violence, suffering of both victim and perpetrator as well. This method—like “forgive and forget”—is a shortcut. It is too easy. If I choose the route of hatred and violence, I allow the cycle to continue. We can easily see this by looking back on our past as a species—the historical seesaw of who killed who, who got revenge, and who was left in pain and suffering as a result of in each violent response.
There must be a third way.
The Art of Non-Violence
Holding the tension of pain and suffering while working towards a better way of doing things—now that is the subtle art of non-violence that few people in this world have discovered and held onto. Those who have found this third option have stood out like sore thumbs in this world saturated with violence. MLK, Dorothy Day, Marvin Gaye, Buddha…. Many of these bodhisattvas were filled with compassion for others while simultaneously killed for their art and practice of this third option, what I will call, the embracing of “liminal spirituality.”
Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable—in the cocoon of liminality—these bright being have walked through the darkness and into the light, becoming butterflies again and again as they helped themselves and others struggling with the pain inflicted by others. Let us learn how to cultivate this art of nonviolence as we walk with them towards our own healing and the healing of our communities. ---Matt Gates
DON’S JOKES
I keep seeing spots in my eyes. Did you see a doctor? No. Just spots. One afternoon there was a group of tourists on tour going through an ancient castle in Europe. They were accompanied by a tour guide. The guide said that the majestic castle was over 700 years old. He added that nothing had been altered or touched in all those years. One of the tourists blurted out, “Sounds like they have the same cheap landlord I have!” Little Johnny goes to the local Farm & Ranch store to buy bird seed. The salesperson asks how many birds does he have? Johnny says, “None. I want to grow some!” “Do you love me with all your heart and soul?’ asked Becky on Valentine’s Day. “Mmm, hmm,” replied Dave. Do you think I’m the most beautiful girl in the world?”Mmm, hmm.” “Do you think my lips are like rose petals?” Mmm, hmm.” “Oh Dave,” gushed Becky, “You say the most beautiful things”
INTERESTING FACTS:
In Washington, D.C., protesters gathered outside the White House to call on President Biden to close the 21 year old prison at the U.S. naval base in Guantánamo Bay, Cuba. Thirty-five men remain imprisoned at Guantánamo today. Mexican authorities have reportedly agreed to take back more Cuban and Nicaraguan migrants expelled by the United States under Title 42, a Trump-era public health order that has been used to block nearly 2 million people arriving at the U.S.-Mexico border from seeking asylum — a violation of international law. ---Democracy Now
In climate news, the United Arab Emirates has named the CEO of one of the world’s biggest oil companies to preside over the COP28 United Nations climate summit when it convenes in Dubai later this year. Sultan Ahmed Al Jaber heads the Abu Dhabi National Oil Company. This appointment goes beyond putting the fox in charge of the henhouse.
Colombia’s government has pledged it will no longer award new contracts to drill for oil and gas, as President Gustavo Petro seeks to fulfill a campaign promise to transition Colombia away from fossil fuels. Americans discard 100 billion plastic bags annually, the equivalent of 12 million barrels of oil. Corporate farms are the ultimate, universal invasive species ---Nation of Change
Between 2000-2020, 517 businesses in the city of Milwaukee received $5,143,963,326 in defense contracts. Check out your village, city, county, or state and see what breweries, brat makers, car dealers, church groups, non-profits, book stores, movie theaters, casinos, hotels etc. receive defense contracts from the Department of Defense. All peace groups could pick out a few defense contractors in their area to boycott.
Thurs. Feb. 16 Anti-ROTC Vigil at Noon in front of M.U. Library on Wisconsin Ave. Christian schools must teach non-violence, not violence against others; even if others choose to be violent.
Thurs. Feb. 23 Anti-Gun Vigil at Noon at Durham’s Sports, 2550 S 108th St. There were 648 mas shootings in 2022, and already 40 this year. Last year, there were an estimated 20,138 gun deaths with 71, 600 licensed gun shops in the U.S.
NOTES FROM 21ST STREET; I watched a nature program on PBS about the interdependency of species in the ocean. It showed how almost every living thing in the ocean is dependent on another species to survive. It was quite beautiful and miraculous to be made aware of the connections. Then I thought of us humans. Are we aware of the interconnections that we are part of? The trees, the bees, the insects, and birds, etc. all have a beautiful interconnectedness with us. I believe if we become more aware of this symbiotic relationship we might hold creation in awe as a great jewel. Once we do this anything that destroys this delicate, beautiful balance between all living things will be questioned. Then power, greed and war will no longer be accepted and only behavior that restores and honors all living things will be allowed. Let us pray for that transformation. Peace, Roberta